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Current Essays image

Racing toward love
When my motorcycle-racing boyfriend proposed on my 40th birthday, I couldn't tell if it was a joke or a dare.
By Ann Bauer

Strapped!
How the bridal beast is bankrupting the lowly wedding guest
By Sarah Elizabeth Richards

Mommy Diarist
Introducing a new mother --   and a new chapter of IndieBride
By Elise Mac Adam

The Guilty Bride
How can a girl raised to stand on her own two feet learn to stand by her man?
By Rachael Combe

Introducing … IndieEtiquette
Our new column will help you solve all of the sticky, prickly and downright embarrassing predicaments associated with The Big Day.
By Elise Mac Adam

Bride, Unhinged
I know with all certainty that my fiancé is the one for me. So why, three weeks before our wedding, am I falling to pieces?
By Juliet Siler Eastland

When Wedding Dresses Attack!
By Eve Simon

Book Review: The Artful Bride
Salvation for the crafty bride
By Heather Moylan

The B-word
People toss around the term "Bridezilla" and think it's cute. I'd argue it's demeaning.
By Elise Mac Adam

My Best Friends' Weddings
I used to relish being single. But now that everyone around me is getting married, I'm not sure I want to be quite so independent.
By Michelle Hainer

When Bachelors Go Bad
How my fiancee ruined our marriage before it even began
By Gayle Cole

O Brother Wed Art Thou
My little brother's getting married. So why is everyone worried about me?
By Rebecca Traister

The Mythology of Marriage
Our wedding stories end with 'Happily Ever After'. Then comes real life.
By Michelle Chalfoun

A Marriage of My Own
Thirty years after the women's movement, I treasure the choices my mother never had.
By Kate Epstein

Why I Popped the Question
Does choosing to get married make me a traditionalist or a revolutionary?
By Beth Broome

My Wedding, My Way
The secret to a great wedding? Decline all parental help, serve deli sandwiches and insist that your guests dress in their Vegas best.
By King Kaufman

Happily Ever After
Could flirting be the key to a successful marriage?
By Lori Leibovich

Am I Really That Single?
There's nothing more soul-crushing than being the only unmarried woman at a wedding shower.
By Ariel S. Leve

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Fun fact


INTRODUCING ...

                    IndieEtiquette

Our new column will help you solve all of the sticky, prickly and downright embarrassing predicaments associated with The Big Day.

By Elise Mac Adam

FALL 2003 | Somewhere along the way etiquette got a bad name. It obtained the reek of tradition, of privilege, of a fussy, conformist 1950's aesthetic. But true etiquette is none of those things. It is about comfort, which is often in short supply when you're planning a wedding. It is the hot water bottle that soothes bad behavior, finds solutions to petty questions, and rescues you from annoying relatives.

Unadorned, the rules of etiquette are simply guidelines for good manners. And good manners -- not love -- make the world go round. Etiquette, simply put, provides perimeters for all kinds of behavior, in all types of situations. Rather than it being a holdover from an elitist class system, it is a great equalizer. Everyone has the power to make other people, and themselves, feel good.

Weddings are deeply concerned with etiquette, in part because they are often formal events with traditions we don't exercise on a daily basis -- but also because they are about the mixing of families, of cultures, of worlds. Brides in particular find themselves racing around looking for an updated Emily Post or a recent Miss Manners Guide when the inevitable avalanche of questions tumbles upon them: How do I word invitations to include four parents and three stepparents? Is it all right for me to tell my sister she has to cover her bleeding heart tattoo? Is there any way I can invite my best friend and not that fink husband of hers? How do I delicately handle my uncle's racist third wife? The issues are endless, seem overwhelming, and threaten to turn even the heartiest souls into piles of dust. But there is salvation. Etiquette, gently applied, should help everyone get through the wedding without having to be hauled off in handcuffs ... or a straightjacket.

Planning a wedding may be one of the most delicate, anxiety-producing, and unfamiliar things you ever do. You will need help, advice, good counsel, common sense. So arm yourself with manners. Grasp their mighty power. This column will give you what you need. No query is too small, no issue too petty. I am here, answers at the ready. It's your wedding, and it should be your pleasure.

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Send your etiquette questions to Elise at indieetiquette@yahoo.com.

 




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