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Uncanny X-Man
Even before the recent turn of events that invigorated my rather lackluster interest in babies, I found infant eyes fascinating. First, there's the mystery of their color. So many of them start with that deep, slate space alien cast, only to turn into something quite different later on. But beyond that, their expressions are beyond describing.
When Felix started smiling in any way that I could trust, I truly started swooning for him. I try not to dare to believe that his smile and flashy eyes are for me, the result of any delight I can offer. Since I'm a sourpuss, I never believed in the power the infant's grin has over his mother. I was mistaken.
But that is my problem, as is this sense I have, this feeling I sometimes can't shake even though it goes beyond reason and common sense that my son is somehow savvy to the world. The way he gazes at me and the other people around him seems to suggest some knowledge beyond what he could gather in his mere eight weeks.
This isn't the case, of course, and I am reminded of a story that I heard (I believe I picked it up from the 1948 Humphrey Bogart picture Key Largo) that explains why we have the philtrum – that groove between your lips and nose. The rumor is that babies have all the wisdom of the universe, but just before they come into the world, an angel places its finger across the infant's lips, ensuring that the secrets of the world will be preserved. (An extremely casual exploration into the origins of this story reveals that it probably originates in the Talmud, in the Tractate Niddah. If anyone has any comments about the Commitment at Birth, I would welcome them. It is a hypnotizing notion.)
Between superstition and actual science, it is sometimes hard for me not to feel fragmentary regret for the talents Felix and all babies his age, have now (not to mention the rumor of lost wisdom) that they will lose before they can appreciate them.
Babies are born with a set of clever simian reflexes. They can grab things with great strength with their fingers and their toes.
They have an amazing ability to recognize sounds, which is why children are so clever at learning other languages. As we get older we lose the ability to "hear" sounds that aren't part of our linguistic experience, which is why, for example, it is so difficult for Westerners to learn Eastern dialects and speak with convincing accents as adults.
Watch an infant's face for a while and you can see it cycling through countless expressions. The baby is practicing for when it will really need to demonstrate joy or fear, amusement or skepticism. (There are, by the way, some fascinating discussions of facial expressions and the work of Paul Ekman in Malcolm Gladwell's new book Blink.)
If Felix could only hang on to these short short-lived abilities, he could be a semi-superhero, like one of the X-men - a person, but enhanced in strange ways - hearing languages the way they are meant to be heard, using his feet as extra hands, dissembling better than master-spies. Clearly these talents are meant to subside but for a moment my child is awash with possibilities that are terrifying and fantastic to watch. For my part, I hope I can observe and remember his time with them, so that they are not utterly lost.
posted by Elise at 8:33 AM
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debbie said...
What a beautiful post, Elise! I love the idea of Felix as an X-Man, and the Commitment at Birth... Just beautiful.
4/03/2005 12:29 PM
Rev. Frankie said...
I'm not a Mom but am a very doting aunt ( 4 nephews; one niece) and have also spent a lot of time as a childcare worker. I have to agree with you about the magic of babies. I've never understood the people who say you have to "wait for a child to get interesting." Some of my most cherished memories of the children in my life are of non-verbal communication moments, during their first few months.
I'm glad you're enjoying and being appropriately awed by the Magic Time.
4/03/2005 5:57 PM
said...
It is suprisingly hard to remember. I'm comforted by the knowledge that every expression is locked inside my mind, whether I can retrieve it or not. There's hardly anything of the baby left in Jeremy's face (he's 4 and a half), but knowing that the memories of him, although misplaced, are safe, somehow makes the loss easier. Of course, Jeremy himself makes it easier as well.
4/04/2005 8:27 AM
said...
um, I don't know if anyone has mentioned the scientific reason for the philtrum, or if I'm stating the known? As I do love the mythical stories, they are so sweet and daydream-y, the philtrum is where the sections of the face come together in developement. So, when not completed in the womb, a cleft-palate is possible, or a congenital fissure of the roof of the mouth. sorry. I have to blurt out the logical.
4/11/2005 2:39 PM
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debbie said...
Rev. Frankie said...