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London
Felix has been rising early lately, so it was still murky out when I learned about the attacks in London.
I can't say how sorry I am. It shouldn't surprise me that this sort of violence is possible. I live in New York City, quite far downtown. I was here on September 11th 2001, and had crushed cars piled on the streets around my house, unspeakable powder in the air, and for months I had to show my driver's license to police officers or armed forces personnel if I went more than a few blocks away from my building. It isn't that I don't understand that terrible things are eager to happen.
But there is this unpleasant twisted feeling I have about the world that I haven't felt in some time. Walking around Manhattan today with my son and my dog, I kept thinking about London and feeling desperately fragile, wondering if I should have held off on having a child.
This is ridiculous impracticable thinking and only leads in circles, but with Felix on hand, the badness of things seems worse, I feel less resilient, and I admit that I am a bit concerned I will become like a less slim version of my mother, herself a professional in the field of worry.
Still, I'm trying to be temperate and leave the hand wringing for late night hours. I kept reading about the London attacks and saw a lot of analysis, but I thought that Josh Marshall laid it out bluntly and very well in his Talking Points Memo today. I understand that I had to give up being at all sanguine when I became a mother, but it is comforting to know that there are people who can at least think in terms of remedy instead of shrugging because evil is inevitable.
posted by Elise at 7:35 PM
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