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I Want to be Evil
Children, they say, are sort of like people. One shouldn't be surprised when they act accordingly. And yet...
Let me start again. I was never sanguine about having children or being a mother and had been perhaps a bit too zealous about cultivating a lot of fears, over which I still stumble regularly (consider the CPR Night of Terror).
Among my worries: what if my kid thinks I am rotten?
This fret only sounds ridiculous. It's happened before- not with Felix, but I was quite shaken when I realized how deeply one friend's child dislikes me. It is so easy to recall this moment of realization. We were all at a restaurant and suddenly, my soup turned cold, shivering under the icy gaze of this kid who wished me dead, a little bit, at least.
This was probably my fault, since I know I expressed not entirely gentle impatience with the kid once, but it's astonishing how easy it was to suddenly be beyond redemption. In an effort to combat the kid's distaste, I tried to be appealing and cool, bountiful and accessible, but eventually I gave up and now my position on the outs has calcified and become quite solid.
Of course this was to be expected. No one likes being told what to do or disciplined. Of course this whole event makes me cringe. It is true the child was driving me crazy, but what are the rules about when one can say something to someone else's child about being quiet or not being rude or at least not being hostile? Can one say something or should one simply sit and hope that the kid's mother notices the unpleasantness and calls her child to order?
I would have been spared considerable discomfort if I had kept my mouth shut. I am not overly fond of being hated. I do have to say, though, that I hope my friends feel comfortable offering gentle correctives to Felix. I want him to feel comfortable and not threatened by the world and it seems to me that if people show him that his bad behavior effects them, perhaps he will learn better how to conduct himself in public.
Now, when my friend's kid and I encounter one another, I try to imagine myself as a classic villain, Cruella de Ville without the fashion sense. If I can wallow in the glamour of being disliked by one child, perhaps it will inoculate me a little against Felix's inevitable rage and door slamming when I do have to correct him. It will happen, I just have to try to keep in mind that villainesses have a certain allure. Consider Catwoman. For that matter, consider one of Eartha Kitt's signature songs. The lyrics say it all. I hope I can keep them in mind when the time comes.
posted by Elise at 3:31 PM
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