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You've got questions, she's got answers. Be among the first to read Elise Mac Adam's new etiquette guide.
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A R8se By Any Other Name
In the course of things, I met some people on the street whose tiny daughter was only a handful of weeks old (so delicate, she actually had wrists, which I realize now is a rare thing in the under six month set). Introductions were made and they said they had a particularly hard time selecting a name for their child. I told them they were in good company. When Felix was about two weeks old, we ran into a couple who were wandering the streets with their very fresh child, completely at a loss for what to call him. ("Oh," said the husband, "Honey, they named their baby Felix. That's a good name, don't you think?" His wife smiled but was clearly shell-shocked. I haven't run into them since.)
Anyway, the couple with the daughter had, in the end, selected a blazingly popular name, a moniker that has owned real estate on the New York City and the United States social security lists for some time. They opted, however, to use an alternative spelling. The spelling was not only unorthodox, it was impossible to remember, and it took them several tries before they managed to eek it out, proving yet again that there is a fine line between creative and preposterous.
I always thought the whole spelling frenzy- The Kaitlin Syndrome, if you will- was a recent phenomenon, although, given how many ways people have written my name over the years (Ilyse, Elyse, Alyse, Allysse, Alease, Ilise. . .), I shouldn't be surprised.
In fact, the Katilin Syndrome reaches back many years, at least into the mid 1930's when P.G. Wodehouse started cranking out his Jeeves and Wooster tales. I've been reading a lot of them this summer (inspired by watching the British television series that features Stephen Fry and Hugh Laurie), and nearly dropped my volume of collected stories when I saw this exchange between the feckless Bertie Wooster and his favorite Aunt.
"`Yes, Aunt Dahlia,' I said, `you have guessed my secret. I do indeed love.'
`Who is she?'
`A Miss Pendlebury. Christian name, Gwladys. She spells it with a "w".'
`With a "g", you mean.'
`With a "w" AND a `"g".'
`Not Gwladys?'
`That's it.'
The relative uttered a yowl.
`You sit there and tell me you haven't enough sense to steer clear of a girl who calls herself Gwladys? Listen Bertie,' said Aunt Dahlia earnestly, `I'm an older woman than you are- well, you know what I mean – and I can tell you a thing or two. And one of them is that no good can come of association with anything labeled Gwladys or Ysobel or Ethyl or Mabelle or Kathryn. But particularly Gwladys."
It is as if normal spellings leave people feeling uneasy, as if they were blank walls that cry out for decoration. A few extra "Y's", a little flourish with an "N" here or there and suddenly you have something that looks like one of Louis XIV's craftsmen had had his way with it. Perhaps the urge to redesign really says something about the zeitgeist. People want to appear original and creative, but secure and responsible. So they pick names that sound familiar and produce a good first impression and then go nuts on the spelling.
For my money, this is lazy and peculiar. There is no shame in the popular name, and the confusion of always having another kid in the class with the same moniker is no greater than the fact that no one will ever instinctively get the "novelty' spelling correct. If originality is that important, grab one of those books, fire up the Name Wizard, and stay away from those Top Ten Lists.
People have told me that they like the name Felix and contemplated it for their own sons, but opted out.
It was the "X" that scared them off.
posted by Elise at 3:46 PM
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said...
We have Sean, Emily Pearl and Evelyn Louise. All three were named for family members. I have never doubted our choices ...although I get tired of people calling Sean "seen"....HELLO! this is a centuries old Irish name.
My step children are named Delaney and Tucker. Their mother got their names out of "TV GUIDE"...as in Dana DELANEY and the movie "TUCKER" about the carmaker.
Although these are also old irish names, I shudder when she repeats where she found the names....ugh...
For the record....Sean is rare (we see Shaun and Shawn more often) lots of Emilys and the only Evelyns we ever meet are 60+.....
My husband and I always laugh about the night we were watching GSN and saw (in one night) "Chandelier" and "Spontaneous"...THAT takes guts!
Felix is great! If Evelyn had been a boy she would have been Noah. Both my mother and mother-in-law still tithe a bit extra that she is a girl...lol....
Thanks for the blog...I have been laughing all night
9/14/2005 7:53 PM
said...
Aunt Dahlia was wrong to cridicise the spelling Gwladys, as this is the original way to spell this Welsh name. The W is pronounced in Welsh, but only weakly.
2/11/2006 4:28 AM
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