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Thursday, October 27, 2005

Diaper Anatomy

Ask me what a modern disposable diaper has in common with gel-cap analgesics. I can tell you because yesterday the dog, feeling he was insufficiently stimulated, dissected one of Felix's disposable diapers in what I hope was a fit of scientific curiosity.

He was just looking for amusement in a morning when it was looking as if I might get something done, and I was forced to waylay my virtuous plans when I walked past his bed and saw the strange diaper wreckage.

It was quite astonishing- little paper bits here and there, a shredded image of a popular children's television personality* on the floor having been carefully snatched from the front panel of the diaper, and all around the tissue was a gel substance.

Gel is the key to the success of a disposable diaper, apparently, and the gel is so good that companies have had to develop "training" diapers that don't work so well (the code for this sort of diaper is that it has a "wetness liner"). Anyway, the gel is controversial from an ecological standpoint and the most ardent of cloth diaper users tend to think that it is more deadly than botulism. I can't bring myself to discuss the politics of the disposable diaper. I fought them for a while and then finally had to cave. The kid was leaking right and left. That's all I'll say.

Don't let my use of the Devil's product make you think I’m sanguine, however. I'm not. Worried about my dog, I started calling around:

The Vet: Not there, probably dealing with an emergency.

My Husband: "Try again. I'll look online."

The Vet: Still not there.

The Animal Medical Center: "Unless the dog is throwing up, don't do anything. We've never heard of diaper poisoning."

A Friend's Vet: "If he isn't acting poisoned or sick and he doesn't have an obstruction, he's fine. Keep an eye on him."

My Husband: "I found some stuff online, but I’m not going to tell you what the cloth diaper people say. Actually I will: just having those diapers in the house has already killed all of us."

A Human Doctor, Called for Unrelated Reasons: "You realize that it is unlikely that a product meant for use on an infant would contain a substance that is toxic if eaten accidentally."

Pampers Hotline: "No, the gel isn't poisonous. It's similar to the substance that gel-caps are made out of."

My Sister-In-Law: "Our dog ate them all the time. Nothing ever happened but they always told us to feed her a little extra."

Am I breathing easily? Don't count on it. But everyone is still With Us, so there is hope. The dog is still on his celery diet, his appetite undeterred. (One wonders if my in-law's Portuguese Water Dog told him about the suggested extra chow.)

And I have been chastened into stepping up the baby proofing.

*Yes, indeed, I am aware of the astonishing amount of branding and brainwashing my child is receiving. A sobering, if unsurprising, piece in the Guardian this weekend called "The Onslaught" highlighted what I was already too aware of.

posted by Elise at 5:46 AM

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24 Comments:

Celeste said...

I'm glad I found you page. My puppy just ate a diaper and I was so worried she would die.

4/21/2006 5:15 PM

Teresa said...

At first I thought my puppy was chewning on one of her toys when I woke from a much needed nap with my 5 week old. Then she trotted proudly over into my sight with her wreckage and continued to destroy it even more. I really didn't want to wake the baby so I watched the dog for a little bit...and watched the gel bits come out of the diaper as she destroyed it. And then I realized she was eating it. And she ate the whole thing. I guess it's her way of getting close to the baby...maybe once she's eaten a diaper she'll now forever protect my son. And now she continues to chew on things...only they're her approved toys. This will make for interesting walks for the next day or so.

8/04/2006 9:51 AM

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