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Make no mistake. Going away was the best choice and really, there was no turning back once plans were made, but...
But I have this difficulty. It is a private one, and I don't know why I didn't think it would set in but here it is, sitting on my head practically all night.
I am constantly worried that my kid is annoying people, keeping them awake, disturbing the peace, fussing them unnecessarily. He has had trouble sleeping and I know there was some snark from neighbors (though oddly, the day they were nasty was after the night he was very quiet and the day they said he had improved wildly was the morning after the night of Excessive Moaning and Yelps). This has led to a lot of sitting up all night on my part, fending off peeps.
So I have been up, up, up and am fraying.
How does one balance? How does one ensure sleep in a strange place? How can I avoid feeling so ashamed of myself for disturbing people while being, so defensive of anyone who would suggest my kid shouldn't be, well, anywhere he's actually allowed to be.
I hear New York is turning cold this evening.
Three cheers for Rufus, that Bull Terrier at Westminster. It's about time the terriers had another win, though I hear Coco, the little Norfolk gave him a run for his money.
posted by Elise at 6:05 AM
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Jill S said...
I can commisserate-- after 18 months of being an angel when out in public, especially restaurants, my son suddenly couldn't "behave" when my parents were visiting from FLA this week.
Dad is particularly old-fashioned and was clearly upset that my son couldn't sit still, and both of them lectured that I was losing the upper hand.
But you know, I finally came to the conclusion that we were asking my little boy to do something that he could not do, that we were setting him up to fail and then acting like he was bad when he did. (And I remembered that they did the same thing to me when I was little and actually told me that I was a bad person when I didn't live up to expectations.)
Sometimes you have to ask your kid to be outside his abilities. We don't have a dining table at home currently, so we had no choice but to go to restaurants. Sometimes you have to travel, or you want to because the benefits of travel (seeing family and friends and new places) outweigh the inconvenience. THIS IS NOTHING TO BE ASHAMED OF! We as moms just have to recognize when we are asking a bit too much, and cut the kid some slack. And we have to remember that others should see it the same way-- the "neighbors" or other guests should be compassionate and realize that they don't do so well sleeping away from home either, and they have decades of experience to help them, where our kids have only months.
Just as we don't want to make our kids feel ashamed, we shouldn't either. We want our kids to learn from experience, and maybe we can too (looking at what worked and what didn't in this situation and what we can utilize next time for a smoother experience), but none of us should feel ashamed.
2/18/2006 1:59 PM
Jill S said...
I can commisserate-- after 18 months of being an angel when out in public, especially restaurants, my son suddenly couldn't "behave" when my parents were visiting from FLA this week.
Dad is particularly old-fashioned and was clearly upset that my son couldn't sit still, and both of them lectured that I was losing the upper hand.
But you know, I finally came to the conclusion that we were asking my little boy to do something that he could not do, that we were setting him up to fail and then acting like he was bad when he did. (And I remembered that they did the same thing to me when I was little and actually told me that I was a bad person when I didn't live up to expectations.)
Sometimes you have to ask your kid to be outside his abilities. We don't have a dining table at home currently, so we had no choice but to go to restaurants. Sometimes you have to travel, or you want to because the benefits of travel (seeing family and friends and new places) outweigh the inconvenience. THIS IS NOTHING TO BE ASHAMED OF! We as moms just have to recognize when we are asking a bit too much, and cut the kid some slack. And we have to remember that others should see it the same way-- the "neighbors" or other guests should be compassionate and realize that they don't do so well sleeping away from home either, and they have decades of experience to help them, where our kids have only months.
Just as we don't want to make our kids feel ashamed, we shouldn't either. We want our kids to learn from experience, and maybe we can too (looking at what worked and what didn't in this situation and what we can utilize next time for a smoother experience), but none of us should feel ashamed.
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