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Vacation Final Words
I can't argue with Dorothy, there really is no place like home because no matter how beautiful wherever one goes is, hell is other people (and, yes, I'm aware that I've switched over to quoting a different mastermind).
In our absence, Felix began a new program of behavior. Perhaps this is one of those forward leaps that everyone says children make or maybe it was just the shock of being someplace new but it was a little surprising when he started doing new things that were never in his repertoire. It was a bit astonishing to watch him totter over to the hotel mini-bar, key in hand and try to fit it into the lock. Perhaps he was reading my mind. It isn't like me to weed through hotel mini-bars for a snort, but our neighbors (mentioned earlier) made me somewhat inclined.
This is a shame, really, because I do love getting around, looking at wildlife, walking in different cities and my kid seems to be taking after me. While I was pregnant, I was able to take a final pre-kid weekend in Paris ("paradise of food" as one new acquaintance's child describes it), and I would love to go back with him, and see what he thinks. I suppose I should credit the food paradise with him incredibly healthy size at birth since in the short time I was there, I think I was presented with more shaved truffles than I had consumed in my entire previous life. (No, I didn't order them, they just started appearing on dishes set in front of me and the waiters would say: "Truffles are good for the baby.")
Is it just bravado that one needs? Do I just need to ignore the people around me who might gripe? How does one manage that horrible feeling that one is intruding horribly on other people's lives and holidays with one's child? Even as I write this and seem to be a meek cringer, I must say that I summoned a healthy mass of hate for our neighbors, such that even when they tried to be nice, I could not look at them.
So, lessons were learned and I suspect I am the one who needs to shut up and deal a little. If I don't intend to stay home forever, the only thing to do is look the world in the eye, wrestle the kid out if he gets loud at a meal and send champagne or chocolates if Felix intrudes too much in the wee hours.
It is a shame to have the beauty of being away wasted on dark undereye circles and conflicting simultaneous cravings for coffee and wine.
posted by Elise at 1:52 PM
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