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Thursday, April 20, 2006

You're Never Too Young to Get Bent Out of Shape



So as is probably more than evident, I am a skeptic and I mean that in the broadest sense imaginable. So I'm finding myself on the edge of a pool contemplating sticking my foot in right now, and that pool is preschool.

Stop laughing. I'm rolling my eyes too. I know how old my kid is and how preposterous it must sound to be thinking about this already, and frankly it wouldn't have occurred to me if my oldest closest friend weren't an educator. Just before she hightailed it for her Spring Break she delicately prodded me: "You know, if you're interested at all in preschool, you need to be ready to start applying in September for the following year. And everything is closed by the end of May."

This was a little worrisome for a girl who hasn't yet decided to send her son to preschool 17 months from now, but my friend has always done well by me. She kept me from falling behind on bureaucratic wedding things and took me to buy infant necessities- dragging me out of denial where I had been cozy until the last weeks of pregnancy. And I can't deny her practicality. This is New York City where things really do fill up, as my laissez faire attitude has taught me lately.

To date, I haven't really taken her advice and run with it beyond having a long cup of coffee with a friend of a friend who navigated New York City preschool applications a year ago, and the event of last night...

Yesterday, I shambled into a panel discussion about the process of preschool admissions. Walking into the school auditorium, where these things take place, it was instantly apparent that I was in something of a snake pit.

The auditorium was stacked with wide-eyed parents all vibrating with anxiety about how to get their kids into Harvard, rather, nursery school- everyone acts as if they're one and the same anyway.

While the forum was actually interesting, it was the parents who made me want to run. Early on I wanted to punch nearby woman I began calling Huge Necklace and Zippers and her husband, Bad Shirt. The two of them seemed to find the whole business just so tiresome and snickered and whispered all the way through. I assume they just needed to kill some time before their dinner reservation because they certainly felt there was nothing useful being said. Everyone was either savagely scribbling notes or pretending to be world weary while poking at a Blackberry.

In spite the evidence of my impatience, which you can see, was documented in my notebook, many interesting things were said about a number of issues, including but not limited to:

-Separation anxiety (on the part of children and parents)
-Whether to send a kid to school at two and a half or three
-How school interviews work
-What sorts of questions to ask a school
-How to gauge your reaction to schools
-How to decide on a list of schools to apply to in the first place
-Realize that the UrbanBaby boards are not wildly trustworthy

But when the audience questions started, things took a nosedive. Everyone was a special case and kept revealing fine details of their lives to get very general answers about a process that won't begin for months.

- I have twins who were born in June but who are extremely bright. How many schools do I need to apply to?

- I have a child with ESP. Can't we just apply to the school she points to in the catalogue and be done with it?

- What if my kid has a speech delay but is interested in art and sculpture. Should he be on the older side in a class?

- My child has an extra eye, which makes him a great early reader. How can I make sure the schools will adjust their curriculums to accommodate him?

Oh all right, I'm stretching the point. But the tug of war between the practical and interesting speakers who provided good and interesting advice (particularly on the what-to-ask-schools front) and the truly off-the-wall desperate parents was wild. I don't know where my family fits in or what we will do.

But this topic is sure to come up again.

posted by Elise at 11:20 AM

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2 Comments:


Anonymous Anonymous said...

I make no pretence of being an expert on this, not having children myself, but I think going with the practical might be simplest. When the child is ready, he should go. How to know if he's ready? Read the signs, I guess. Is he starting to get bored and restless at home? Is he in dire need of external stimulation? Things like that. As for waiting lists, I guess you could always put in several, and if he's not ready to go by the time one comes up, you could turn it down and wait to see what comes up the next year. Assuming it works that way, of course.

Just throwing some thoughts up in the air for you!

-Ariadne (who has a Kvetch account but no Blogger login :))

4/21/2006 1:34 AM


Blogger Elise said...

Ah if only it were as easy as that. The science of many of these classroom compositions is quite intricate-- hard even to summarize with a few quick sentnces (this according to the panel). It all seems sensible - the protocols in place - but I can only say this: even wait lists are complicated matters.

This is not to say that one can't start the process and change one's mind, which is certainly what I'll be leaving myself open to doing...

4/21/2006 6:18 AM

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