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Red In Tooth and Claw
Isn't it odd when you go out with reasonable expectations of having a specific experience and then, when you get there, the entertainment is entirely different, and bloody?
I am thinking here about the rather awful experience zoo goers in Amsterdam had at the Beekse Bergen Safari Park recently when they got to witness some Sloth bears chase and maul a Barbara macaque (monkey) to death.
When I heard about this (and my husband kindly warned me that the story was in play- because I tend to be soft when it comes to animal tragedy, even when it is inevitable and reasonable) I was reminded of the first time I ever wondered what I would do if I were the parent.
Impossible to figure out exactly when this happened, though surely this scene played for me at least 10 years ago. I went to the Bronx Zoo with two very close friends and their children. This excursion was significant for me. I was not the kind of girl who often joined other people's family excursions and I was flattered and a bit intimidated to have been invited. Children were sort of mysterious and I was unsure how to even talk to them.
My uncertainty bore itself out almost immediately. We entered the park I believe at the Bronx River Gate and walked past the Bison Range and soon found ourselves observing the Pere David Deer.
Pere David Deer are Chinese in origin, and are consistently featured on endangered lists. For quite some time it is likely that the species only managed to persist at wildlife parks, though they have been reintroduced to the wild with some success.
I mention this because while we were gazing upon them, the Pere David Deer began aiding their movement towards extinction. Two males approached each other and started tangling, batting each other with their horns, tangling and separating, until finally they locked themselves together and began twisting their long thick necks in an effort to drown each other in the water pool about ten feet in front of us.
At this point, the children's mother started encouraging her kids to look away. I began trying to find a park ranger but was semi-hypnotized by the losing deer's sad rolling eye. It was a terrible and mesmerizing thing to watch and somewhere in my mind a thought rolled through- the first of its kind. "If I were here with a child of my own, what would I do? What would I say?" Nothing coalesced.
My friends' children were unhappy about being turned away from the scene and fought hard. "I want to se the reindeer locking horns!" was the plaintive cry. (There was no time to discuss the difference between reindeer and Pere David Deer and the horror would have been the same regardless of species anyway.)
Things looked horrible and then suddenly, the nearly drowned underdog deer managed to break away, stagger backwards and run to the far end of the enclosure where he lurked, barely visible. The nominal victor did not follow him.
We were all wildly relieved except for one of the children who was quite agitated and for quite some time after that kept wanting the reindeer to lock horns again.
Well, now I have the kid, but I haven't made any progress on answers. I don't know what I would say to my son if he happened to bear witness to live animal death, or what I would do. Would I let him watch the "reindeer locking horns" or "bear feast" moments or would I trundle him off, against his will? Would I really find myself mouthing "circle of life" platitudes, or could I navigate this with blunt, age-appropriate grace? Happily, I suspect I am not the only person puzzling right now.
posted by Elise at 7:44 AM
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said...
Hey Elise! This is Elizabeth (Ely) Tolman. I stumbled across your blog today after reading in the New York Times review of books that Maud Casey has a new book out. Do you remember Maud? She was at CHS with us. I didn't know she'd written any books, much less three. At any rate, I then decided to google other former classmates, and discovered Indie Mom. Great work! I've enjoyed the few entries I've read. I now have two children, Sarah (almost 4) and Peter (20 months). I don't know what I would do either were I to witness such a scene at the zoo. I recently decided to be matter-of-fact about the subject of death (one of Tom's cousins recently died), but it is tough. Sarah mentioned Tom's cousin yesterday and said, "But when he comes back to life, Daddy won't be sad anymore."
Send me an email: eely@email.unc.edu
Take care. Elizabeth
5/19/2006 7:28 PM
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