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Swimming & Other Necessities
Crazy or Careful?
Memory Lane: Soup Burg R.I.P.
Not So Much Dog Eat Dog
Looks
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The Savage Mythology of Urban Parents
Summer School
Bad Parents on the Brain
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You've got questions, she's got answers. Be among the first to read Elise Mac Adam's new etiquette guide.
Pre-order from:
- Simon & Schuster
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And For My Next Trick...
Contrary to what my child may tell you, good days do not begin in the five o'clock hour. Excessive daylight makes me murky- my brain and reflexes not as jittery as they should be.
But today was a day begun too early and while nothing terrible actually came to pass, there was too much opportunity. I opened doors to disaster, fell down on the job; select the metaphor of your choice. And of course, it all began with fun.
Visitors were in town and I was complicit in cooking up a schedule of events designed to appeal to children of all ages: toys, burgers, subway, chocolate, playgrounds, even the odd taste of technology for the kid in everyone. But as seems to happen more and more frequently, I kept getting pulled out of the fun by visions of the future, not a long-range future, just the furrowed brow that worries whether my kid will make it through lunch before exploding from exhaustion.
Clearly I failed, but the failure was supreme. The kid did make it through grilled cheese and tomato but was quite miserable on the subway and even through we were almost home, I foolishly felt it was necessary to ether quiet him with some cookie fragment, or put some cookie fragment into a bag before it formed that weird cookie-plaster that solidifies on skin and clothing. Anyway, whatever I was doing, I was stupid because at that distracted moment the subway doors opened and Felix somehow got his fingers caught in them.
Do I need to say I panicked? I did. Some gentle stranger, undaunted by my alarming barks and my kid's howling assisted the digit extraction (and I realize I'm saying this as if he wouldn't have gotten free naturally when the doors closed) but even though his fingers mysteriously weren't even bruised, I'm still cringing.
I obviously didn't learn my lesson because mere hours later, while trying to prove that I hadn't lost my ability to handle the things I usually juggle every day, I nearly let Felix's stroller (yes, he was in it) pitch off a curb while the dog had wrapped his leash around a tree.
I have acquaintances, who make no bones about pointing out that Felix is hatless and tan and don't like the idea that I let him eat slabs of tomato that haven't been cut into tiny slivers, would have called Child Protective Services if they knew. Fortunately, it's August, and no one's around.
So while I can't let up, my mother did offer absolution. "You don't know how lucky you've been. There are so many things you haven't let happen. You didn't drop him up a flight of stairs. I think I used to leave your head behind when carrying you through doorways. It's just the way it is."
Are you thinking her words explain a lot? That would be the obvious punchline.
posted by Elise at 6:35 PM
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Laura K. said...
You also haven't left him anywhere, which a remarkable number of people do -- set off to the grocery store and forget to take him with you, carefully pack up all his stuff to take him to the park and be halfway there before you realize you don't have HIM...
8/07/2006 7:36 AM
said...
Hi everyone,
I am end of 20's, on a turn of my life, I have a very active life, but since I've got a husband my life has changed into a boring life. My husband spend every second on his computer connected to the web, instead of spending his time with his woman. The only chat with him is about this stupid writing artcle adsense . My personal hobbies are totally different and for this we are staying in different plants. Nevermind I go without.
Goodbye everybody
Astrid
2/11/2007 5:49 PM
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2/13/2007 4:25 AM
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Laura K. said...