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You've got questions, she's got answers. Be among the first to read Elise Mac Adam's new etiquette guide.
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Madonna! Outrageous!
So Madonna's former (presumably) nanny has apparently sold a proposal for a tell-all memoir about what it was like to bounce all over the world taking care of her charges and participating in the Madonna-family generally.
Now, I have no great sympathy for Madonna, and I don't think she particularly would want it anyway, but it did occur to me that pretty much any nanny's description of life in any family is going to come off as a tour of duty in a sanatorium.
Sure, Madonna set up some crazy rules that I would never bother living with, but I am always running into people with incredibly strict and dearly-held policies for their children, the violation of which threatens to topple everything into chaos.
Some have extraordinary food policies, and not for reasons of allergies or anything practical. These are particularly hard to navigate out in the world.
Others won't allow the discussion of any negative news items. I remember this was particularly difficult for one family I knew slightly in the wake of the events of September 11t h and in the end the children, who were school age, found out about everything anyway (and I suspect learned it all in a less reasonable and controlled way than if their parents had broken the story first).
There are people who prohibit public transportation and some who think that putting kids on school busses is tantamount to child abuse.
The word police (and I don't mean obscenities) also make me particularly crazy since it is hard to remember which people don't allow you to speak words like "gun" or "stupid" and then you're stuck getting glared at and scolded for being a bad influence.
And when I turn that lens on myself I imagine someone reporting extensively on how I don't force hats and gloves and sometimes after wrestling the same shoe onto my kid about 10 times in the bread aisle of the supermarket I give up and let him flap his bare foot around in the cold air until we can get home. I guess I would be the anti-Madonna in that case.
This is not to say that Madonna and her crowd aren't fair game and exposing their quirks the same way the Smoking Gun exposes various performers' contract riders isn't entertaining. Imagine being able to demand that no one run water in the house while you were napping and everyone complied instead of laughing at you.
Anyway, I can't say I'll read it, if this book appears. Not only is it not particularly my bag, but also anyone can see the equivalent all over the place. Since parents everywhere are embracing their Madonna-tendencies, there's really no point in being scandalized by the real thing. I suppose the book could be good for people looking for tips, or who want to admire the magnitude.
posted by Elise at 5:07 AM
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