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recent posts
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Miracle of Betty Hutton
Madonna! Outrageous!
Verdict
Yeech
Preschool Panic (the Continuing Story)
Up Up Up With the Fish
A New Word for Awful
What Would You Do?
It Never Gets Old...
NOT on a Lighter Note
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Really, Really. The Last Word on Preschool Admissions
So I had closed my mind to the whole preschool admissions fracas but then Emily Bazelon, a writer I tend to think really gets it, wrote a piece for Slate about preschool admission issues and I wanted first to point it out, because it is interesting (and furthers what I was saying about how this isn't all a "New York is such a crazy place" problem). I also thought she missed a point that was out there blinking away.
She feels, as anyone would, that the whole idea of interviewing a toddler for school is sort of insane. They're unpredictable, alternately antisocial and charming, and I have a hard time imagining how even experts can get a good sense of a child based on a 30 minute play session. Bazelon leaps to the defense of misfit tots, saying that they don't necessarily deserve to be thrown to the bottom of the application heap just because they are odd.
Of course they don't. Many of the schools I looked at (including a bunch where I couldn't even apply because my application didn't clear the "lottery") were quite insistent that they select children based on a wide range of factors, including some vague notion of balancing the class so that not all the kids are docile sheep or wildcats ("spirited" is the happy word for them, I understand). They also look to balance boys and girls in each class and attempt to arrange for a spread of kids born throughout the year instead of all clumped up on the "older" and "younger" ends of the spectrum.
But one thing that I was warned about that schools that have playdate "interviews" do examine quite closely is the parent. Parents are in the room for the playdate interviews and the observers really do check to see if you are out of your mind, if you press your kid aggressively to perform, if you encourage attachment issues (though no one apparently is surprised when these things crop up in unprovoked children). They want to see what you are like when other people are interacting with your child. It's hard to sit still and watch your kid do his or her thing. It creates the feeling that I certainly have when faced with a difficult conversationalist-- I always feel obliged to maintain the conversation, make (probably not at all funny) jokes and over explain. It is the beginning of letting your kid be him or herself and while it is a lot of fun to watch, it is harder than it sounds.
We, or perhaps I should say HE made it through, though, and I dread doing it all again with the next kid and with ongoing schools, but at least I know what I'm in for. Mysteries are a killer.
posted by Elise at 10:53 AM
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