recent posts
----------

Mr. Bergman and the Maternal
Arbitrary Line Drawing
Red Velvet
Playtime
Little Joan Crawford
Take Heart, You Knocked-Up Sushi Fans
Generic
Bossytime
City Kid
Caving


Book cover
You've got questions, she's got answers. Be among the first to read Elise Mac Adam's new etiquette guide. Pre-order from:
- Simon & Schuster
- Amazon
- Barnes & Noble



Tuesday, July 31, 2007

Allergic vs. Not

I have an acquaintance who likes to tell everyone that he is allergic to fish. In point of fact, he doesn't care for fish. When he proudly told the crowd at the restaurant about his ploy never to have to deal with fins, I told him he was silly not to just admit that he has this particular dietary foible. I won't eat mayonaise and cilantro makes me want to spit, but I wouldn't hide behind a medical excuse to avoid them.

The reason why this rubs me wrong, I suppose, is that people who proclaim allergies that are really just preferences (albeit strong ones-- no one hates cilantro more than I) do people who have real deadly allergies a disservice. A recent article on Babble talk about some of the social issues for people whose children have deadly food allergies, and offers some useful information about places to go for support and coping strategies.

posted by Elise at 11:13 AM

........................................................

6 Comments:


Anonymous Anonymous said...

As a waitress, this is the kind of thing that burns me. I had a gentleman order a salad without nuts. A lot of people don't like hazelnuts, so I thought nothing of it. I was refilling water and he made mention of an allergy to hazelnuts, and another server brought out his salad. I came running over after he'd started eating, because I remembered that the dressing had hazelnut OIL in it.

Needless to say, he didn't go into anaphalactyic shock. It was a strong preference against nuts, but he calls it an allergy. I meanwhile, almost had a heart attack because I was sure I was going to have a customer die.

A strong preference is good enough in a restaurant - if you're nice to your server, they'll make sure you are accommodated. Starting out by lying creates madness in the kitchen and bad karma for the liar. There can be an eensy bit of garlic in something, but you won't taste it if you don't like it. If you're allergic, you'll know it's there.

AGH! This is a definite peeve of mine, and most servers. And sometimes, I hate to say... we err on the side of guessing you're not REALLY a vegetarian, allergic to butter, or can't have gluten. Just tell the truth! You're picky!

7/31/2007 1:17 PM


Blogger Laura Kramarsky said...

This drives me wild. I know someone who says she's allergic to things, and even creates stinks in restaurants, when she just doesn't like them.

I have a friend who's on the other side of this, though. Her child is so severely allergic to eggs that she cannot even touch their shells. It's truly frightening, but because so many people exaggerate their "allergies," she has to make a bigger fuss than she should so that people understand just how deadly eggs can be to her 3-year-old.

7/31/2007 7:30 PM


Anonymous Anonymous said...

That's quite bad behavior.

I don't have deadly allergies, but bad enough that eating certain foods make me quite sick, and right away. I really really appreciate it when dining out when servers are helpful and point our hidden ingredients, though often times I eat something I thought was safe and it clearly becomes apparent it wasn't.

For people to claim allergies when they're just picky makes things harder for those of us with allergies. What's wrong with just admitting that you're picky? Everyone's picky about something!

I'm actually quite embarrassed and apologetic about making too many demands on a server at a restaurant and tend to tip highly wherever I go, cause I feel like I'm such a pain.

8/01/2007 9:33 AM


Anonymous Anonymous said...

I know someone who absolutely hates fish who started telling people he was allergic just because a lot of seafood fans refuse to accept that you don't like it. "Oh, you must never have tried salmon." "Have the orange roughy--it's not a 'fishy' fish." Like you're a child who doesn't want to eat his broccoli.

I'm sure my friend doesn't mean to make light of real food allergies (and he doesn't pull that one in restaurants--only with the fish-pushers), but as a fish-hater myself, I understand why he's resorted to those measures.

8/02/2007 11:05 AM


Anonymous Anonymous said...

I left the first comment and last night, I had a table of diners (a family of 4) who were "allergic" to garlic and onions.

To not call a restaurant in advance with that kind of allergy is a stunning display of stupidity.

Also, they chose to sample some dipping sauces, served on the side, that the chef could not promise did not have onion, scallion, garlic or shallot in them, as they employ various asian infusions which do not list full ingredients.

Allergic my a$$.

8/02/2007 11:34 AM


Anonymous Anonymous said...

Yeah, I'm severely allergic to peanuts: the first time I tried it, when I was three, I had to immediately be rushed to the hospital. Honest to goodness, I learned how to read partially by reading food labels. I was a smart kid and made it okay, but people just don't get it. There were the jerks who were sure I was making up the fact that I can't smell peanut butter without getting sick, and the schools who just didn't get it. Even now, people give me the blankest looks when I explain that no, they can't eat that around me, that yes, it can kill me.

I understand using allergies as an excuse. But I think that, even if everyone stopped using that reasoning, there would still be people that just don't get it. I've had waiters refuse to serve me, people complain at me on planes. It's kind of awful.

8/05/2007 6:15 PM

........................................................

Post a Comment

<< Home


........................................................




Support Indiebride! Your optional subscription fee helps keep the site up and running.


Home | Indieetiquette | Kvetch | Links | Indiemom | Books | Essays | Interviews | Columns
Our Vow | Trousseau | Indieblog

Contact us | Press | Submissions | Email updates


Copyright 2008 Indiebride.com
Reproduction of material from any Indiebride pages without written permission is strictly prohibited.