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The Age of Anxiety
So I should have been doing other things for those few minutes but I found myself parked in front of Slate's Dear Prudence advice column, and got rather depressed by one letter (the third one down if you're looking) in which the writer says she prefers the company of one of her children to the other (her daughter is apparently most unpleasant) and is upset about it. Now, various people have told me that one of the reassuring aspects of having more than one child is that when one of your children decides to hate you (which invariably happens) the other one will still love you and then they'll trade off, so you're never stuck with just bile and spite. Or rarely.
But it was such a depressing note and actually a bit of a frightening one. I am happily not at a point where this kind of scenario plays itself out with my children. Their needs are pretty easy to fulfill and their savage moods fleeting and handily modified with snacks, sleep and a change of scenery. Emily Yoffe, speaking as Prudence, suggested a Washington Post article called "Take My Kid, Please" and the work of the psychologist Dr. Alan Kazdin, so it was somewhat reassuring to read (yes indeed, while I should have been doing about 15 other things-- but that's what coffee and late nights are for) that there is help.
But after working myself into a snit wondering if I would be able to master, if necessary, the correct praise techniques and positive reinforcement behavior modifications, I ended up charging a fistful of pulpy novels at a mystery bookstore (one of only 2 remaining in New York City) following a meeting this afternoon. These will sureluy prove jusr as useful.
posted by Elise at 5:01 PM
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