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Stop Yelling
Really?
The word on Slate (and I'm commenting on this days after it was published because I'm wildly wildly WILDLY behind on everything... and covered with strawberry jam and marmalade, I see--
though not for any reason that could be categorized as intriguing)... The word on Slate is that children respond best to behavioral and disciplinary suggestions when you don't yell at them and when you don't calmly, patiently, droningly over-explain why kids should stop throwing pasta or pitching fits or tormenting their siblings or worse.
I think, though I'm no expert, that the recommendation here is for some behavioral modification work. It seems a little weird to me that anyone would have to practice the art of saying "no" to a child so that the kid can re-wire his reaction to the word to be temperate and tantrum-free, but that's the recommendation. What I found most compelling about the article is this paragraph: "But a large body of research tells us that greater understanding is not a strong path to changing behavior. If you are smoking while reading this, you will get the point at once. You understand that some behaviors are not good for you and may well hurt others, yet you do them anyway. Kids are no different. In both children and adults, recognition that one is doing wrong does not automatically trigger a process that will alter the improper behavior."
I don't know if I'll implement any of these techniques. I'm hesitant to jump on any parenting band-wagon the same way I can't seem to follow any diet (a pity) or wear make-up well. But it is interesting, and since I read the article shortly after Felix launched himself into some kind of fugue state (past bedtime, overtired, Spring fever, who knows what was up) that resulted in a good number of new bruises on his mother, it was worth filing away in my "in case of emergency" file. Happily the bedtime fit doesn't happen too often.
posted by Elise at 4:30 AM
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