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You've got questions, she's got answers. Be among the first to read Elise Mac Adam's new etiquette guide.
Pre-order from:
- Simon & Schuster
- Amazon
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Open Call
Among the numerous elements I'm juggling is a promise to produce a new book, a follow-up, a sequel, a natural continuation of the comportment issues I talked about with weddings in Something New.
The subject, and the reason why you're seeing me mention it here, is parenting etiquette. I'm dealing not so much with how to get children to behave well, rather, the book is about how to navigate tricky, disastrous, even nightmarish social situations as a parent, potential parent, or person who deals with children regularly. (My recent airplane experience, for instance, offers some fodder on both the parent and non-parent.)
Progress is well under way, but I thought I'd cover all bases, do due diligence and see if I had forgotten anything.
So, if you have anything you'd like to get off your chest, be it old insult or recent social scramble, I'd love to hear about it. I never use names and I chance all identifying details and often reframe situations entirely, so don't worry about anonymity. One thing I've learned from years of writing about etiquette is that, no matter how weird and singular you think your problem is, there are plenty of people out there who have wrestled with the same thing. (How many letters have I gotten about mothers and mothers-in-law who have worn long white wedding dresses to their sons' and daughters' weddings? More than one.)
I'll take it all: pregnancy, infertility, childbirth, babysitter problems, school snafus, car pool disasters, Other Parent Oddness, you name it.
Feel free to post in comments or write at greater length to me at indieetiquette(at)yahoo(dot)com.
Many thanks and cheers,
Elise
posted by Elise at 4:46 AM
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said...
I'd read your book, since it deals with issues that affect care-givers, too. (I was, by the way, "anonymous # 2 on your last post).
I know you are also in NYC, so here's one that should have some familiarity for you. I was walking with one of my young charges (she's 5) the other day, and a smelly, messy, obviously homeless man said, "Hello, ladies!" and moved closer to us, as we walked by -under a construction scaffold. I pulled the little one closer to me and walked by as fast as I could.
She asked, "Why did you pull me like that?"
I said, "I was worried about that man who talked to us. I thought he might be a little bit dangerous, so I wanted to keep you close and get away fast."
She asked, "Why did you think he was dangerous?"
I said, "In the city, it's not polite to talk with people you don't know. Since he talked to us, I thought he might be sick in his brain. I wasn't a lot worried but was a little worried and wanted to be careful just in case."
Well, that was true and she seemed to accept it.
But I'm wondering...what would you do with your sons in such a situation?
4/05/2009 7:49 PM
said...
Dear Anonymous 2,
I love NY (though regretfully I don't live there), and I understand (since I too live in a major city) that one needs to be cautious with strangers one meets on the street (especially one like you described). But what a harsh message to send a small child: "In the city, it's not polite to talk with people you don't know. Since he talked to us, I thought he might be sick in his brain." Really? On all occasions? Why not just tell the little girl that his slovenly appearance and demeanor made you concerned that he might not be healthy?
Anonymous 1
4/06/2009 9:25 AM
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