I coined the term. It is the sadness, anxiety, fatigue, and anger that set in after the wedding day. The whole notion of depression being linked to the wedding is new to most people--which is why I wrote the book.

Talk a little bit about your therapy practice.

Shortly after I graduated I started my business, Conscious Weddings, to help women and their families navigate through this transition successfully and get to the other side of the wedding day in one piece. I work with everyone who is affected by the wedding process-brides, grooms, mother-of-the-bride, father-of-the-groom, etc. The wedding invites a lot of hidden drama onto the stage, and family members have no idea how to handle the level of energy that is consuming them. I am trying to make a conscious bride, and I am also trying to make a conscious mother-of-the-bride, friends of the bride, groom, and all who are affected by the transition. Yes, the wedding is between the couple, but the changes will affect everyone who is close to the couple. And the feelings inherent to transition-the loss, fear, confusion, loneliness, etc-cross all lines of race, religion, age, sexual orientation, and class. Transition is transition, no matter how you slice it.

What is the most common problem you see in your practice?

Women typically call me three to six months before their wedding in a state of high anxiety, needing to know that they are not alone, not crazy, and in desperate need of talking to someone who understands and can help guide them to sanity. The most common issues center around nine different areas:

1. Separation from family and friends
2. Grief from old losses
3. Letting go of attachment to singlehoodăidentity and lifestyle
4. Leap into adulthood
5. Liminality feelings (the in-between state where the woman is no longer single and not quite married characterized by feeling numb, disoriented, blank, disconnected)
6. Experience toward fiancț: anger, separateness, loneliness
7. Wedding day issues
8. Fears about marriage and commitment
9. What is a wife?

Do you think women still cling to the Cinderella image of the bride that we were all fed when we were little girls?

In my opinion, most women, no matter how educated and conscious and feminist they are, still cling to the Cinderella image somewhere in their psyche. The image is so deeply ingrained into our subconscious minds from the time we are little girls that it is virtually impossible to escape it. And this isn't necessarily a "bad" or sexist thing. We need to make a distinction between wanting to look and feel beautiful on our wedding day and obsessively trying to achieve an impossible image of perfection. We all want to look beautiful on our wedding day, but the realistic woman allows for life and chaos to affect her day.

How do you advise women who feel uncomfortable with the outdated -- and some might argue sexist -- traditions that brides are supposed to abide by, i.e.: being given away, throwing bouquet, etc.?

Many women are surprised by how strongly they are pulled to abide by these traditional rituals. Why? As long as we are committed to the belief that these acts are archaic and sexist, we will feel an internal conflict around the decision to follow them. However, as I explain in The Conscious Bride, when we can tread beyond the cultural interpretation and understand the archetypal meaning, we immediately land in a territory that we can relate to. For example, throwing the bouquet represents the transition from being single to being married. The bouquet is symbolic of a woman's identity up until this moment in her lifeăcall it singlehood, "maidenhood," whatever. The fact is, if you are a bride, you are in the midst of this profound transition, and the truth is, there are very few rituals that honor this transition. The father "giving away" his daughter is also highly symbolic and meaningful. Again, if we are attached to the interpretation that the woman is not her own woman but a dependent creature, moving from daddy's house to husband's house, the act will smack of intolerable sexist resonance. Yet again, if we can dare to see past the superficial meaning into the archetypal dimension, we will understand that this act symbolizes the woman cutting the ties to her family of origin and welcoming in her new family, her husband, in a new way. All that said, no one can tell you which traditions you should or should not include at her wedding. The bottom line is that it's your wedding, so pay close attention to what feels right for you.

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